Friday, 26 March 2010

The Dogfather made him an offered he couldn't refuse - part 5

Before we go any furvers I wanna say from da bottom of my heart dat I am so touched by wot ma pals all said bout ma bloggy yesterday. 

So where was we? Oh yeah, I had managed to escape from da boat and make my way to Atlantis! I stayed da night wif dem and they did make sure I was comfy and cosy as could be. I stay wif dem for a few more days until da man come back from his shift. The weather is bootiful and I make sure I stick to dem like glue and am nearby at all times:

Dad had telephoned da man to let him know what had happened and told him 'we need to talk'. Da man came straight over to Atlantis and took me away. Mum had spent all night fuming about all the fings wot had been happenin over da munfs. She was at her wits end and it was all she cud do not to beat da man over da head she say!

Dad and mum had already had conversation bout how she must keep her cool or she lose doggy forever! Dad reminded mum dat he deal with people all da time and he used to convincing people to do the right thing. Leave it to me he say. Don't worry he say (ha - as if she cud stop).

mum - What are you doing to do?
dad - I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse!
dad - Just don't say anything and leave it to me. Trust me.

As da man take me away up da steps, mum turn away wif tears and a heavy sadness in her heart. She trust dad wif all her heart. He will do what it takes. She must keep her mouf shut! Mum stand on deck so she can hear what they say and Dad follow da man. They stand at da top of da steps wif me between dem.

Dad - Listen mate, maybe it's all too much for you - Lexie you know - the responsibility. You know we love looking after her and Wendy has become really attached to her. Why not let us take her off your hands? You'll have more time for yourself, more time to go out with your mates (he single dad wot love going clubbin).

Man (i dussnt say his name) - No way, my kids still care about her and they'd kill me.

Dad - Well they're hardly ever here and when they are here they can come and see her any time (mum finks over my dead body).

Man - No. It's not going to happen. You can still look after her though.

Dad - No forget it. It's too painful for Wendy and it's not doing Lexie any good either.

Man - Ok well how about if I let Lexie have puppies and you can have one.

Dad (fuming) - What? No - Lexie comes and lives with us or we don't look after her any more. Fuck it (dad did swear!) - forget it - I'm going to get another dog for Wendy. Lex is not our problem any more.

Dad turn away and walk off down steps and back on boat. He grab mum and take her inside before she say anything.

Mum - WTF! Now we've lost her forever! That is it - I don't want another dog. How will she understand? We've done this. We've caused her even more pain!

Dad - Calm down! Trust me - he'll be back.

Three days passed. Mum could see me on da back of da boat and I did see her too. I wud stand on my back legs lookin over at her. Why she not come get me? She not like me no more? I bin bad? Man call me back - get down he shout! Come here he shout! He is angry I can hear in his voice.

Den I wakes up on da fourth day and everyfin as changed. I cannot finds ma bowl and da basket wot the man give me to sleep in. I sniff around. Come on, he says. I follow him off da boat (must be goin to the pub I fink). But no we go down steps to Atlantis. I see da man and da woman is there. Mum call me Lexie - come here, here girl. Hello Hello! She cuddle me, she kiss me! They seem bery eggsited and I gets very eggsited too!

I go inside ... there is ma bowl and basket from da ova boat. Mum come in and say Welcome home Lexie! I dusnnt know but I never goin back to dat boat.

I did not know but the man was goin on away for three weeks and he cud not find anyone to look after me. He knew if he left me, mum and dad wud report him to da RSPCA! His ex-wife refuse to have me, no friends would have me. He stuck!!!! Soooooo, he take me over to mum and dad knowin dat he have no choice! I am all theirs and they are all mine - my mum and dad!

For a long time I fort I was goin back to da man. Mum sorted lots of fings out pretty quick. First fing she dun was take me to da vets. They check ma legs and feet and do x-rays. They say is all fine and she can take me for walks but to build up slowly.

Den we go to place called Pets at Home. I get collar, lead, toys, another new bed, brushes, combs and all manner of fings!

They teach me swimmin, sniffin, meeting doggies, runnin, playing, fetchin, sittin, staying, waiting, stopping, layin down, rollin over and so many fings dat I never knew about! Oh and of course,tweetin! heehee.

I finds out about life on a boat. I learn about how not to look when dad is weldin (sofmink mum could don wif remembering), noisy machines and was soon to discover my love for extra strong mints, which, for health and safety reasons I am tightly rationed on, after I once ate a whole packet off the table!

Mum and dad finds out more bout me too! See above re extra strong mints (they refer to this as OODR = out of dog reach). They put in dog flap and taught me how to climb up and go down the stairs in da wheelhouse.  They show me dat when someone is shoutin it can be  because they is warnin you bout a dangerous fing or they is shoutin bout good fing. I did not like shoutin and always did hide under the table!

Well friends, you can see it worked out well for us all! Mum spent a good few months wondering if I was happy, sad, fed up, depressed and asking dad if he thought I liked being wif dem. Silly woman!

Now we can carry on wif da story of Atlantis in da knowledge that I is now offishully Ship's Dog!

See you later .. Ali Bongo out!

PS: Oh I forgot to say dat of course you will be finkin ow did mum and dad know bout all these fings was appenin to me? The man told them! He told them bout his boys and wot they did to me and how his ex-wife want me to be put down so he cud be hero wif his boys.

Den when I did move in wif da man he tell mum and dad bout all da beatdowns he give me (dat wot he call dem) to show me who is da boss! Mum and dad had to hold their tongues bout that til they knew for sure they had me!


  1. Even though I knew you ended up with your family (uh, that's why you're blogging, after all!) it still almost made me cry to read about it!

  2. I cry when I read you bloggie, but you has such a good home now. ) xx

  3. Oh my, oh my. Dat do be the best thing I ever did read. Now you rilly haz us cryin in Surrey. We loves you my pal. Woof.

  4. dat did make mom cry again, but she is sooo happy now, an so is me !!! HUGS XXXX


  5. Oh Lexie, this made us so sad when we read the cruel things that happened to you - but then when your forever people rescue you it is so lovely. xx

  6. I am cativated, can't wait till da nex bit. @Isagold xox

  7. I did jus read this Lexie and I did cry a liddle bit bout the man wot did have you first. It is nice u hav new family now, wot duz sound a bit nutty but nice. Most hoomans are nutty anyway. Lots of waggy tails and woof woofs. xx